the journey to ground

going to ground

i wanted to pull you gently into the space of breath and somatic awareness

but your body was tense and spasming

i wanted to shield you, sweet one,

from the terror and shame of your body

i know this spasm and fear in my own way

as your eyes darted and we would briefly lock and begin to attune

but the nightmare of your violation loops again

your poor jaw

i lied when i said i knew what you were going through

the brush stroke of impeccable word

i want to know if you have a child

i’m scared of your answer

---

what is going to ground?

ask the gardeners proud of their hands’ labor

ask me after this journals’ power to be the glass jar of trauma processing works its’ wonders

ask me after the mascara has streaked and i have left my vocal chords somewhere in the balcony

ask him when he gets his head above water

singing in front of even 10 people is intoxicating

when i sing i see faces turned and resonating with some aspect of our sound

rapt in attention,

i come alive

the ground can also be the stage

ask me why i share so readily

it is the gift of fucking up so badly

i’ll sing to you of my shitty exes

i’ll tell you my dreams and stories

and swirling pulsing channels – direct to crown from ?????

ground is knowing i can practice trust falling in 9/8 8/8 9/8 12/8

if i can sing in front of anyone anytime

then i can speak to anyone

i attune to D Dorian best