journal

he’s always going to be my mixed up girl and i mx. to untapped grace i’ll say if you find it now fuck i hate to say this if you find it now fuck off have a nice time find your love and speak of me like lindsey like jessica like rebecca ann buckner likeContinue reading “i’m back”

but until then i just keep making art i adore kill ur darlings? fuck no not my babies oh but also there’s too many babies already so yeah why not do like parents and give my darlings plenty of material for aa // tight five // therapy

if you are in my care you are in my fucking care no more blue feet and blue pills and blue sky failing how to love a fabrige egg be impeccable with your brush stroke kind > nice EYE CONTACT AND CARE i can love you and not like you > editors’ note- be advisedContinue reading “8/27/22”

Arty

i’ve recently become scared of calling crisis lines for myself i know too many people in the field it made sense until the paranoia took hold so what is ground for me? sometimes it hurts i have grieved the loss of my ecstatic mania this year coming to ground after a real expansive one canContinue reading “to believe the ground”

You make this all go away

the body scan wasn’t what made sense at the time your long friend away in professional hands his life more in danger with them than you it’s so sunny dear and i think you wish you were still in the beautiful oaks all refracted mirroring currents who gets the say in how we grieve? unmooredContinue reading “breath through ground”

seeing this man sent somatic earthquakes but i was not engulfed i breathed so here’s a sample of the process of creating images for me ok- let’s go grieving a complicated loss (in form or gesture) letting people grieve their own way i howled in the close mist new year’s eve/day in northern california U2Continue reading “mereDEATH & process”

Right now I am processing the guilt of my experience with J // I don’t know how else to grieve.

I have a name for you

but why do i need the constant validation of my “silly little images” ? don’t i know that i can’t say it’s “just for me” then need *so deeply* approval well anyways- here’s another i misplaced how to spell

toynbee inspired mashup

please do not stray and drift from the old ways /// the reverberating, the illuminating, the mirroring /// they knew they knew they knew – and we forgot /// the herbs and the voices and the shadow plays and the beating and the primal yowl /// it is time for remember

how will I change? how will art break through language and bear the burden of collective scars? how will we open the arms of art to all especially those whose right to healing is denied? how will these weeks go and what will I learn? how will I change? thank you for reading

my website- this website is a space for my artistic journals there’s never been a point to this but this space represents a few years of work it has been healing to put things into the world with no audience now i have a small audience expressive creation as a unbridled honest exploration of currentContinue reading “week 2 – c.a.t. journal entry”

i think they were a nazi